Friday Night Fun Night

At first everything was fine and she actually loved the kinkiness and excitement that surrounded a little gender bending in the privacy of our home and bedroom. However as she continued to see how far I would go if encouraged, she found that the answer was farther than she was comfortable or okay with. I had told her before that I had fantasized about going a whole weekend “dressed” and she quietly watched as I acted it out. It turned out though, that she didn’t like her husband looking like, or trying to look like, a woman. In fact it disturbed her quite a bit and she said so quite frankly.

I won’t pretend that that was easy for me to cope with, because it was not. I felt betrayed because I had buried these thoughts and feelings long ago, and it only re-surfaced at her urging to let go and just see where it took us. I was in fact a source of erotic pleasure to her up until I had gone farther than she was comfortable with, and she began to re-evaluate her morals and values of Judeo-Christian root. We both believe and follow the Jesus of the Bible, but this was something that we hadn’t considered to reconcile before starting.

I know to some this sounds like a complete contradiction, and it is if you just go to church and listen to what the priest or preacher says every Sunday. However, if you look at what Jesus has said about marital relationships, he pins everything on the covenant (or agreement) that the couple agrees to and live it out in love and dedication to one another and no other. Or in other words all of these things are okay so long as it is kept between us and no others (physically), and if both of us are okay with it.

The problem began when she tried to get me to tone it done, and started talking to me in a more traditional religious way, and that did not include crossdressing. The Bible does condemn the practice, but what about people like me who God created in a less than black and white picture of gender identity? So after a lot of confusion and a pretty scary scenario playing itself out in our marriage and now faith “crisis”, I ran across an article in Scientific American in a Special Issue that talked about gender in a rather clinical way.